"As Fate Would Have It": Chapter 4

Is it love that I am in?

I just fell, don’t know why … Something’s there, we can’t deny

= Sunday night 05 March 2000 =

"Ike, what happened out there?" Taylor asked. "You got all weird on us for the entire second half of the show." The concert had just ended, and the brothers were relaxing backstage.

Isaac only shrugged. His head still hadn’t cleared. The only thing he knew was that he needed to see that girl again, and talk to her. I need to know her. There was something in her eyes that won’t let me go. I can’t even think straight, unless I’m thinking about her.

Taylor snapped his fingers in front of his older brother’s eyes. "Ike. Ike. Clarke Isaac Hanson. Come back to planet earth, please. Eighty people are going to mob us in about five minutes, and you need to be aware of what’s going on."

"Huh? What did you say?" Isaac couldn’t have been more disoriented if he had been awoken from a deep sleep. Taylor only let out an exasperated sigh.

"Five bucks says it has to do with her," Zac wagered as he joined them. He’d been removing his headset, which oftentimes was a project if he didn’t pull his hair back before putting it on. "That girl you pointed out to her at the end of the acoustic set. That’s when he started acting all ditzy and dreamy."

Taylor backtracked mentally, back to the girl he and Ike had discussed just before "More Than Anything". Zac was right; that’s when it had started. No one had ever heard Ike perform it like that before, not even when he had first written it for the girl he was dating at the time. This was serious, if Ike was putting so much of his heart into "More Than Anything"; up to now, he’d performed it convincingly, but it was easy to tell that it wasn’t intended for anyone in particular. This time, however…

Taylor let out a low whistle, causing Zac to look up. "What’s up?"

"He’s crushing again. And this time it’s bad. I refuse here and now to spend even one of our vacation days driving through all of Oklahoma looking for this girl with him."

"Gang, here come the fans," the three were informed. "That’s enough of the chit-chat. There will be press back here."

Isaac made a valiant attempt to appear normal, shaking hands and smiling at each of the people who came at him, posing for pictures and saying "thanks" at each compliment. Yet, as on stage, his mind was nowhere near what was going on around him.

He snapped to attention, though, when he heard Taylor mutter under his breath so low that only he and Zac heard, "Great. The psycho chick." Then Taylor immediately smiled when she approached, with another girl in tow. This other girl seemed reluctant to be there. I agree with you, whoever you are. I’d rather be somewhere else too: in bed, asleep.

Then he noticed that Isaac had once again become dumbfounded. A few seconds’ glance at the silent girl before him told him why. It’s her, the girl he had been watching. She looked ready to run for the door at any moment. It was a rather bizarre contrast to the other girl, who looked like she could rival Zac in energy levels. She wasn’t behaving as hysterically as she had been during the concert, though. She seemed to be concerned with her despondent friend, who really looked like being here was a death sentence.

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"If this bugs you so much, we’ll go. I’m sorry I talked you into this," Hayley said.

"I don’t want to spoil things for you, though," Laurel replied. "I’ll wait for you as long as you want to stay. There’s no reason we should both have a lousy time because I’m not feeling well; I’ll just sit over by the door and wait for you." Laurel walked away, without giving any of the Hanson brothers so much as a glance.

"I’m sorry about my friend," Hayley apologized to them. "She has a headache and just wants to get home and sleep. It’s nothing personal."

"Tell her we hope she feels better," Taylor offered as forgiveness for Laurel’s behavior. He looked up to Isaac, following his gaze to the anxious-looking young woman who was now sitting by the exit, hugging her knees to her chin. He could tell that tonight would be a long one; Ike was going to be wondering about her aloud to himself all night, and his bunk was right above Taylor’s.

Not much later, everyone left. Laurel felt better when they arrived at Hayley’s and she crashed on the rec room couch. "Hayley? Do you forgive me for being such a slouch tonight?" she asked with an arm over her eyes.

"Why wouldn’t I? You got one of those headaches that usually knock you out for a couple hours, and in the middle of a really loud concert on top of it. It’s not like you wanted that to happen. Do you want to save the movie marathon we’d planned until tomorrow night so you can relax? I’ll work on my midterm scene, or something."

"You don’t mind?" Laurel was grateful for Hayley’s sympathy. If she had been at home, she would have had to take care of herself. "I am kinda tired, so I think I’ll just vegetate here for a while."

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"Ike, will you please let me get some sleep? It’s after one o’clock in the morning, I’ve been up for two nights in a row, and if I hear one more word about this girl that you know nothing about, I’m going to come up there and beat you senseless. This is the first night in almost three months that I’ve spent in my own bed, and I would like to spend at least some of it sleeping." Taylor was clearly annoyed.

"But who is she? I swear, there’s something going on with her. She wouldn’t look me in the eye after ‘More Than Anything’. Something happened; I felt it. I —" Isaac would have gone on for another hour if Zac’s pillow hadn’t smacked him in the face.

"Ike! Will you shut up? You’re driving us insane! Forget her already. What are the odds that you’ll ever see her again? Slim to nil, and I’m betting on nil. You don’t even know her name, or her friend’s name, for crying out loud. You have nothing on this girl," Zac retrieved his pillow and buried his head beneath it upon returning to his own bed.

Isaac finally got out of bed and wandered downstairs, through the living room and out to the sun porch. Standing and staring out the window at the starry sky, he must have appeared a picture of serenity. But the direct opposite was true; he had never felt such unrest in his heart. Who was she, and why is it that I felt such love from her? I connected with her heart tonight; I can’t ignore that. I need to find her and find out what it is I’m feeling.

Sidestepping Mackenzie’s toys, which the young boy had wasted no time in scattering across the floor when they’d gotten home that afternoon before leaving for the sound check, Isaac found his way in the dark to the couch. As he plopped down, he found himself sitting on something. Holding the object up in the moonlight, he found it was Jessica’s portable CD player. He slipped the headphones over his ears and turned it on in hopes that whatever music Jessie had chosen that afternoon would take his mind off of things.

Within a few moments, Isaac recognized the CD as being Jessica’s compilation of late 1980s Billboard chart-toppers. Searching blindly for the skip button, he hit it a few times to find a different song. He wasn’t opposed to the Bangles’ music, but he wasn’t exactly a fan, either. The next song he landed on, he wasn’t entirely familiar with, but it sounded soothing, so he listened.

"I get lost in your eyes / And I feel my spirits rise / And soar like the wind / Is it love that I am in? / I get weak in a glance / Isn’t this what’s called romance? / And now I know / ‘Cause when I’m lost I can’t let go / I don’t mind not knowing what I’m headed for / You can take me to the skies / It’s like being lost in Heaven / When I’m lost in your eyes …" It wasn’t what Isaac needed to take his mind off of the mystery girl, but it was the embodiment in words of the emotions he was feeling and the questions he was asking himself.

"I just fell, don’t know why / Something’s there, we can’t deny / And when I first knew / Was when I first looked at you / And if I can’t find my way / If salvation seems worlds away / Oh, I’ll be found / When I get lost in your eyes …"

Isaac knew that he couldn’t ignore his heart. He had to find this girl, whoever or wherever she was. So this break time wouldn’t be spent resting. At least if he found her, it would be time well spent. "Whoever you are, I have to know you," he whispered into the night.