"Near You Always": a short story by Aimee

Near You Always

Funny how the sky always stays the same no matter what happens to you in life. In fact, it may be one of the only consistencies you ever have. No matter where you are, who you're with, just look up and it's always there. The same, brilliant blue.

I looked down at myself in my flowered blue dress. Laura always loved blue, ever since I met her when she was 5 years old. We were a very strange combination. I was spontaneous and wild, almost always on the go. Laura was quiet and thoughtful, and no matter where she went she always carried a book with her.

I'm twenty-two years old right now, and Laura has been my best friend since I was three. She's two years older than I am, which makes her more like my older sister. She always will be, no matter what else happens to me. I let my mind wander back fifteen years, to when I was seven and she was nine or ten. We did so many things together. In winter we'd build snowmen, go sledding with my dad, and ten times more. We'd play house and restaurant, all the normal things kids do.

When summer came we would be outside all day long, making our skin turn from that sickly pale shade winter gives to a beautiful bronze, just like little Indians.

As we got older, things changed; sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. In our teenage years, things were constantly in turmoil. I was dealing with the death of my grandparents, the first ever experience of that nature I had gone through, and she was dealing with her first heartbreaks and the rebellious stage all teenagers face at some point.

She helped me through my teenage years, always knowing what I was going through because she had been there before. Laura was the only person I would ever cry to, and the only one I ever will.

Laura didn't go away to college until her junior year, which left me starting my senior year of high school without her. It was hard for me at first, but we still called each other at least every other day. Nothing could break our 18-year bond of friendship…nothing has so far.

Two years ago I got the call from Laura that I had been dreading. She was getting married. I was losing her, something I never wanted to happen. I couldn't help but voice my fears to her, pouring out my heart, as well as all the tears I could cry. I felt like a child again as she told me, not for the first time in my life, that she would never leave me behind. "I'll always be near you, no matter what." And she didn't lie; Laura and her new husband, Ike, moved to a house within five minutes walking distance of mine.

Laura wanted a baby badly, and I wanted one for her. Someone I could spoil and never be the one to discipline. (In other words, never being the bad guy.)

I started from my reverie, with tears filling my eyes, as I realized that Laura would never have that child. I quickly reminded myself that I couldn't cry in front of all these people who expected me to break down, wanted to pity me and tell me how sorry they were. I wouldn't cry until I was alone with Laura.

Reluctantly, I lifted my eyes and gazed glassily at the coffin. It was hard to believe that I would never sit on the phone with her for hours, or fail another one of her cooking lessons. But most of all, it was hard to believe that I would never laugh with her again. She was the only one that could make me really laugh. The kind of laugh that made tears run down your face and your stomach hurt. I would never see my best friend again.

I didn't listen through the rest of the funeral. It was almost too painful to hear the minister talk about her like she was gone forever. She may be dead, but in my mind, she's as alive as she ever was. Maybe I just refuse to accept that she really is gone; I don't know, truthfully.

I didn't go to the gravesite; in fact, I refused to. Putting her lifeless body into the ground seemed so terribly final. It almost made me think that after that, you weren't supposed to think about her anymore. I didn't want that; I just wanted her here again.

I made my way to my car, and somehow managed to drive home. I stumbled into the house and up the stairs, finally letting the tears fall. God, what was I going to do?

I told myself over and over again that I shouldn't blame myself for what happened, but it was no use; if only I had agreed to drive, to pick her up. She wouldn't have come anywhere near the intersection, to that drunk driver. Why couldn't it have been me?

I threw myself down on the bed, letting out loud, painful sobs. I couldn't stop; the tears had taken so long to come out that I had a feeling they would never cease.

Suddenly, music filled the room. I recognized the opening chords of a song I hadn't heard in years. "I Will Come to You," by Hanson; the song Laura and I had played over and over again in our youth.

I looked around, wondering where the song was coming from, my tears stopping in bewilderment. I noticed the light on my stereo, signaling that the music was definitely coming from there. How could the CD be in my stereo? I hadn't listened to it in years…it was supposed to be buried in a box somewhere in the attic.

I lay back down, extremely confused, but too tired physically and emotionally to fight it. I closed my eyes and began listening to the song Laura and I had once loved. It had such beautiful words…and such meaning for me, now that Laura was dead.

When you have no light to guide you
And no one to walk beside you
I will come to you
Oh, I will come to you
When the night is dark and stormy
You won't have to reach out for me
I will come to you
Oh, I will come to you

Sometimes when all your dreams may have seen better days
And you don't know how or why, but you've lost your way
Have no fear when your tears are fallin'
I will hear your spirit callin'
And I swear that I'll be there come what may

'Cause even if we can't be together
We'll be friends now and forever
And I swear that I'll be there come what may

When the night is dark and stormy
You won't have to reach out for me
I will come to you
Oh, I will come to you
We all need somebody we can turn to
Someone who'll always understand
So if you feel that your soul is dyin'
And you need the strength to keep tryin'
I'll reach out and take your hand

As the song ended, I remembered a time long ago when Laura and I had declared it "our anthem." Those had been the best days of my life. I opened my eyes and looked over at the stereo, watching the power light click off.

A sudden feeling of overwhelming comfort overcame me, and I knew that it was Laura's message to me. I closed my eyes, telling myself that there would be no more tears shed for a life lost. There would only be smiles and sweet remembrances for a life beautifully lived. As I drifted off to sleep, I heard Laura's gentle, crystalline voice whisper in my ear, "I'll always be near you no matter what."

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